The Christmas Story

"And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes bounding down the straightaway."

II Reginald 10:19

Happy Holidays
-LaDainian and Latorsha Tomlinson

Want some Danish with that Turkey Sub

I was spending my day detoxing yesterday in the hotel room after a 4 day binger that I hadn't even contemplated doing since my time spent with Shooter and Cruiser in Boulder many moons ago, ( and please note that it was an absolutely beautiful San Diego day- not a cloud in the sky, 70 degrees-the whole ball of wax- and the only time I left the room was to go to Burger King), when I was able to spend some quality time with Jack Black and the gang in 2003s best movie, School of Rock. Considering this is one of Topper's favorite movies, I had seen it multiple times, but I still had one of those epiphanies that you get for unexplainable reasons ( like maybe I need to make sure there is plenty of toilet paper before I do my speed waddle in from La Margarita's happy hour special on half price Quesadillas)that signifcantly improves your life. Even though you have seen a movie a million times, there is still something new that you pick up on every time ( When Marcus Aurelius looks at Commodus and says " your shortcomings as a son are my failures as a father", at the beginning of Gladiator, you realize how that is going to add to the classic confrontation at the end because Commodus is so creepy and can't get his sister to agree to bang him- and you just see the rage/frustration in his face and know right then that this guy is going to kill his dad and will do anything possible to keep the power-
Anyway, I was finishing my third diet coke of the morning when the epiphany hit during the turkey sub scene of School of Rock, and I realized that Maryam Hassam, aka Tameka ( and Turkey Sub), /should be one of the new infette sponsors for Ampsnation. The Ag look on her face when she informs Ed Scheebley that she is interested in a backup lyric gig with the new band, and then subsequently belts out an all time Amps version of "Change, Change, Change" ( 0r whatever that song is called), has inspired me to create a new award for the Ampsnation Community, "The Turkey Sub". This award will be presented to the infant that has made the most outstanding contribution to enriching our lives at Ampsnation and who consistently defies logic and behtroness awe-stricken inspiration to our fledgling, blossoming community.

Previous winners would have included 1983 co-winnersReginald King ( 1983 Wilmer Hutchins Basketball)and Pearl Washington. MJ would have won several awards, or maybe just one special honor for lifetime achievement.Barvyn Sanders in 1988, Glenjamin Rice's historic run in the 89 final four was worth consideration,Randy Gene in 1998-1999,Kurtis in 2000, Barvyn Bonds in the early 2000s,Carmie's championship run in 2003 was noteworty, also. TO and his spectacular 2002 season with the Sharpie- I think we all get the picture. Centaur Johnson ( please see Ampy's photo ) would have been the big winner last year .

Now that the foundation has been set, I think it is important that we really appreciate the herculean contributions that one Waco-sired infant has been making this season, and is on pace to destroy of all Marshy's ( another unquestioned would have been honoree)seemingly unsurmountable records. Obviously, this baby is Danish Tomlinson.

Barring an injury, the Horned Frog alum is going to steamroll to over 30 zonies and well over 2000 total yards, and could get over 75 receptions. There has not been an unstoppable force like this since Carven- the still heroic never to be touched nudie, heading out to the Rangers game in the muff wagon, maintaining a special allegiance in Marino's back house smoking all sort of tintilating concoctions, running Daniel Lyke's Camaro into the wall across from Middleton's house in broad daylight, spearheading the Maroon Force Veer offense, taking 30 minutes to drive from Hyer after a basketball game to Shooter's house because he didn't know his directions. Running his Camaro into a phone pole next to Searcy's apartment and just leaving it there and walking back to the Inn, that silly grin on his face, they just go on and on and on and on and on. I wish everyone would seriously take a few minutes- maybe even more than a few- and really think about the special dynamic that Carven added to all of our lives. Close your eyes and think about it.
Danish does this same thing for me every time I turn the TV on.

Danish's feats are just like Turkey Sub's audition to be a back up singer for the band. Every time you watch, you realize what a special moment you are sharing and hope that you always can see these accomplishments repeated over and over and over and over and over.

We are about two hours away from watching Danish exploit the atrocious Browns defense ( when is Romeo getting fired?), and I know that Asa must be VERY excited.God knows I am.
When is he going to get 400 total yards of offense in a game? This could be the day- When that happens, I'll probably have hypoglycemic cardiothoracic seizures, and they will be welcome with open arms.

Let's all take a moment to think about who our Turkey Sub winner would be, and then share them on Ampsnation. Whether it is your kids making their first goal in a soccer game, nailing their first solo at a recital, a classic episode of Everyone Loves Raymond when Marie shreds Debra, or anything at all- everyone has their own turkey sub and let's make sure to include all of the ingredients.

For my particular recipe, it includes about 70 inches and 210 lbs. of mercury with a unusually consistent penchant for coagulating in an area designated by pylons and white chalk. Danish is my turkey sub with all the fixings. Centaur is the bag of chips and Carmie is the extra large brownie, but Danish is the Turkey Sub.

God Bless Tameka.

Hi Everyone,

I Hope everyone is having a Happy Thanksgiving weekend.
Call me on my cell phone if you are ever in St. Louis.

Best regards,

BT

Happy Holidays, Everyone

Well, another wonderful holiday season is upon us. Centaur Johnson is certainly christening the yule season with a bang. Carmelo and JR Smith were last night also, as they combined for 61 points ( and JR cussed at George Karl and stormed off the court in the first half). Mr. McFadden from Fayetville is also giving lots of gifts( He may be the sexiest package in College Football this season. He reminds me a lot of Centaur and Danish). Apparently Mr. Romo is also in the holiday spirit. Mack Brown apparently, is not. How in the fuck do you lose to Kansas St. and A&M in consecutive weeks? Why would you start a quarterback that is clearly injured and apparently didn't have any feeling in his passing hand until the Wednesday before the game? If you give up 45 points to a horrible Kansas St. team, then can't score more than 12 at home against an average A&M team, then you deserve to play in the Sun, Holiday, Independence, or whatever bowl it is going to be. All they had to do was beat two crappy teams, then beat an overrated Huskers team and they are in the BCS championship game. Instead, they are going to be bowling for Dollars in Shreveport or some other terrible location. With all this being said, losing games ( even to Kansas St) are forgiveable, but having injured/unhealthy players play when you know they aren't at 100 % is unacceptable. Jevan Snead was a consensus all american and put 35 on the board against Kansas St. He could have gotten the win. Watching Colt at 30% was painful and reminded me a lot of the "Wing Right, Run Right " formations that the Maroon Force used to roll out on Saturday afternoons. Way to cost your University 12 million, Mack. Granted- he won the National Championship last year, so that will always be a feather in his cap, but putting Colt in that position yesterday was ridicuolus. Hopefuly the injury won't be anything permanent/serious.

The only thing that made watching that game worse was having to listen to Paul McGuire. Why can't he just die? ESPN didn't offer him a gig when they expanded to Monday nights, so why can't he just take the hint and go host jacuzzi parties with FUPA?

Today my son went to go meet TO at the SMU Barnes and Noble, so obviously we are all proud of this historic accomplishment. Once I have the photo I will post it. This is a defnining moment in my life and I am so proud. Speaking of TO, where are all his critics now? It looks like he is close to the leaders in touchdowns, receptions, yardage, etc... Think what his totals would be if he had had Romo all season. Once again, another example of how terrible the East Coast media is. The Chattanooga Cheetah will always be a force of the Ampsnation.

On Monday I am off to San Diego for two weeks, and I will try and find Danish and Vincent. I should have lots of free time at night so we will get the HH awards banquet posted. I'm still waiting to hear back on a couple of things.

In closing, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the USC babies will put Weis out of his memory. I'm sure Weis and Fupa had an extra long jacuzzi session after the Tampa Bay Game. McQuistan and Kosier served as the honorary towel boys this week.

How Amps is Romo for also nailing Jessica Simpson?


Best to all of you and your families on this Holiday season.

Again, I would like to thank Centaur and Carmie for making the holidays such a great one so far, and I can't wait to see what Danish's offerings are. Also, I'm hoping that Randy Gene continues with his amps like performances. We're shooting for 20 yards this week.

I'll talk to you guys on Monday Night from Danish Land.


Please refer to this important link:

www.torryholt.com

Centaur

“The centaur is tasting the sweet nectar of the end zone.” Apparently, the Kansas City radio announcers refer to Larry Johnson as the Centaur....half-man, half-beast.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Stevonne Smith would like to welcome everyone to Ampsnation. He is a special favorite of the entire Amps Communtiy and attended Junior College with Chad Johnson.

Thank You So Much

I would like to thank Ampy for setting up this site, this will be an invaluable and therapeutic resource for us as we enter the home stretch of the NFL season. As the Holiday Season approaches, let me reiterate giving thanks to Danish, LT, Randy Gene, Nacious, and David Gerrard.

Ase, thanks so much for your Rangers' insight. As always, they are looked upon with awed reverence. I am also thrilled that Leon Spinks is the spokesman for our site. I can't think of any one more deserving. I can't imagine a Thanksgiving wtihout him.

There will be a special holiday schedule posted by tomorrow evening, with some random philosophical thoughts about the NFL, NBA, and other assorted goodies.

Thank you to everyone for your participation, it is greatly encouraged and looked forward to.

Asa's Rangers Report

I have a good feeling that we’re headed in the right direction. Don’t look for a move that will knock your socks off, but I think that Daniels will make some shrewd moves and take a few calculated chances.

I’m taking a 2-year outlook. We control Tex, Kinsler, Young, Blalock and Laird for the next few years, so our IF is in good shape. I’m hoping Ron will revitalize Blalock (who is only about 25 years old) and will help improve Young and Ian with their defense. Tex is already gold glove-caliber.

We have a lot of good young bullpen arms, which is very important to our success. Also, I’ve been reading that several teams are interested in acquiring some of these guys, so we might be able to move one for a starting pitcher. Also, I’ve been hearing good things about two Latin pitchers that we have tucked away (they have had some visa problems).

I think Millwood will be fine as a #1-2 starter – not spectacular, but very solid. They seem to like Robinson Tejeda. I think we’ll sign one FA starter, possibly Zito, but otherwise a solid vet. We might also acquire one via trade with one of our young pitching prospects. Then we fill out the rotation with vets in need of re-surgence and our young pitchers.

We need some help in the OF, but don’t overreact. As of right now, we have Wilkerson (who was a bust last year, but should improve this year) and Nelson Cruz (who could be a diamond). Cat can be a 4th OF type. In CF, we have young Freddy Guzman. He doesn’t excite me much, but I’d rather take a look at him now than overpay for an overrated FA (ala Juan Pierre and possibly GMJ given the contract length and size that he is seeking). I have also read rumors about us acquiring Brian Anderson from the ChiSox. All I know about him is that he is a prospect that is very good defensively but has yet to blossom at the plate.

In any event, we shouldn’t lock ourselves into a bad situation. Next year, there will be OF galore on the market, several of whom have strong ties to the Metroplex – Torii and Vernon, specifically. If we have a decent year and get some good karma flowing, then we might become even more attractive. Apparently, players around the league love Ronnie. Also, we could consider trading (now or at the trade deadline) for one of these OF with the intent extending their contracts.

Thus, my 2-year outlook – I think Ronnie is right about pitching. We need to upgrade the front end of our rotation, maintain a strong bullpen and let the young arms cover the backend of the rotation. If we sign/acquire a solid starter this year, we could hope to add one next year and have one of our prospects step up, then we would be have a very good rotation. We are fine in the IF – Tex and Young should continue to play at a high level, Ian should continue to develop and hopefully Hank will improve. In the OF, we have Nelson and hopefully can add a stud (I want Vernon), then fill in with a third OF.

Also, I think that Jon Daniels and Ron Washington's contracts are up in two years.

It’s that simple – All you and I have to do is buy playoff tickets, enjoy the ride to a World Series championship, attend the parade and re-up for Sports Illustrated to get the 2008 World Series Champion Texas Rangers memorabilia.

I like the Cat signing. DeRosa had a career year. Cat is much more solid. Also, I like DeRo, but I can’t shake the fact that he was one of Buck’s guys.

(Update: Congratulations to GMJ, who reportedly about to sign a 5yr./$50M contract with the Angels. )

Thank You Antonio

The entire Amps Nation would like to thank Antonio Bryant for his recent efforts. I particularly like the part about the "leather restraints".

Niners' Bryant arrested for DUI
November 21, 2006

The mugshot, a photo no athlete likes to have taken. (AP)

SAN MATEO, Calif. (AP) -- San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Antonio Bryant was arrested on reckless and drunk driving charges after his Lamborghini was seen speeding faster than 160 km/h on a freeway over the weekend.

Bryant, 25, was arrested Sunday night on suspicion of misdemeanour charges of reckless driving, driving under the influence and resisting arrest, police Capt. Kevin Raffaelli said.An officer entering U.S. Highway 101 saw Bryant speed past and tried unsuccessfully to catch him, Raffaelli said. He radioed another officer who pulled over Bryant.

Bryant showed "signs and symptoms" of being drunk, Raffaelli said, and he was unco-operative, combative and verbally abusive. He refused to step out of the car, he said.The officers were forced to use leather restraints to put Bryant in a seated position with his legs straight and his hands cuffed behind his back, Raffaelli said.

Bryant was booked into the San Mateo County jail early Monday morning and released a few hours later on his own recognizance. He is scheduled to appear in court Dec. 28, according to San Mateo County sheriff's Lt. Lisa Williams.

Aaron Salkin, a spokesman for the 49ers, said the team was aware of the arrest, but declined to comment further.

Welcome to Amps Nation

I think this is the beginning of something big. In the spirit of that, I'd like to offer up this handsome photo. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.